A Farewell to the Past, an Exciting Journey Ahead

It's hard to believe that my journey, both personal and in the blog, began over 12 years ago during my freshman year of college. Admittedly, I haven't been as active here for the past couple of years – life has a way of keeping us busy, and sometimes, I confess, procrastination takes over. This post might even serve as my farewell to blogging, or at the very least, my last post from the United States, where I've called home for the past 13 years. 

California Street, with a glimpse of the Bay Bridge in the distance—an iconic San Francisco vista

Putting these words down on paper feels daunting because, once written, they become real and unchangeable. Nevertheless, the time has come. My flight back to Thailand is set for October 14th, at 00:10 AM. Interestingly, it coincides with a solar eclipse day in California, which I'll have to miss.

In recent months, I've had the privilege of reuniting with people I've crossed paths with throughout my American journey – from high school to college (at various weddings, Phoenix, SF, and beyond), graduate school (visits to Boston and SF), and my postdoc stint here at Stanford. Many have asked how I feel about returning home, and truthfully, I didn't have a clear answer then, and I still don't now. These last couple of months have flown by at an alarming rate, and despite my best efforts to slow time down, it appears unstoppable. I'm not ready to move, not just yet. But then again, are we ever truly ready for such a transition, or do we simply embrace it when it arrives?

I'm excited about the upcoming chapter in my life – starting a new job, living in a "new" city, building a new community, and, most importantly, being just 20 minutes away from my parents, instead of a 20-hour flight. However, I'm also grappling with a sadness at leaving this place, this life, and the wonderful people who've been a part of it. I know it's not a farewell forever. In fact, many have expressed plans to visit Thailand now that I'll be there (ok, that last part sounds a little too self-absorbed). Still, I can't shake this sense of sadness and worry.

I've grown fond of the person I've become during my time here in the U.S. But I'm also anxious about the person I might become upon my return to Bangkok. I love my current job and am eager to embrace my first permanent position. Yet, I can't deny the uncertainty that accompanies starting a new job in a role that I can't fully predict. I cherish the friendships I've forged over the past 13 years, but I'm also looking forward to making new connections in the place I once called home.

All in all, my time in the United States has been an incredible journey, from North Carolina to Chicago, Boston, and the Bay Area. I hold deep affection for all the places I've lived (though I usually pick Chicago as my favorite). I write this note to share my feelings with those close to me and, perhaps more importantly, as a keepsake of my emotions as I sit in my office (PAB206), late at night, just seven days before my flight.

Champ

10/05/2023